The younger ostomate may not have this feeling of belonging. If preceded by a long illness, then he or she will have fallen behind classmates, both academically and socially. Returning to school without old familiar friends may seem strange and disquieting. A major difficulty for the young is being different, regardless of the cause. Not being "one of the crowd" is a major consideration. Already singled out previously by the ulcerative colitis with its dietary and physical restrictions, the younger person may feel this difference from others more acutely when returning to the social circle with an ostomy. True, no one need know about the ostomy, yet an inner feeling of being different still exists. Gym classes and swimming must be approached carefully, not to mention the more intimate aspects of dating.
Another obstacle for the young is the choice of occupation. For the individual who is self-employed, engaged in a profession, or working for a small company, there is no need for concern. However, for those who must work for large companies with employment physicals, there is a great fear of rejection because of the ostomy. The medical examiner or company nurse may be completely unfamiliar with an ostomy and assume that it is a handicap to productive work. They are not aware that the ostomate, freed from debilitating disease, is eager to make his or her mark in the world to show that he or she is normal again.
A constant battle is being waged against the type of medical discrimination based on lack of knowledge. The only way victory can be achieved is by unmasking these practices. One approach is to ask for a telephone call or letter on behalf of the ostomate to the medical examiner of the company by another physician, such as the surgeon who performed the ostomy, or the medical advisor to the local group. Constant pressure on companies may bring about the needed reforms.
Finally, the biggest barrier of all, to find a mate. Since the ostomy is not noticeable externally, casual meeting and dating does not present a problem. When a deeper relationship is established, then the problem arises as to whether the other person should be told about the ostomy before serious plans are made about marriage. A simple and calm manner should be used to explain about the ostomy. For example: I was very sick at one time and was cured by an extensive operation requiring removal of the colon. I am fine now, but the bowel must empty through an opening. The emphasis is on good health with the ostomy the price for the beneficial results.
