March/April 2001
Page 9

1. You never meet any celebrities except Fred Penner.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
3. "Vacation" means going to Winnipeg.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular in Toronto.
5. You measure distance in hours.
6. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
7. Your classes were cancelled because of cold.
8. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
9. You use a down comforter in the summer.
10. Your grandparents drive at 100/km per hour through 13 feet of snow and raging blizzard - without flinching.
11. You plan your financial future around bingo.
12. You see people wear hunting clothes at social events.
13. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
14. You think of the major four food groups as deer meat, beer, fish and saskatoons.
15. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
16. There are always 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the beer store at any given time.
17. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
18. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
19. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
21. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pyjamas.
22. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
23. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
24. It takes 3 hours to go to the mall for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
25. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Manitoba.

From JJ in Internet Newsgroup: wpg.general, From Inside Out On-line Mar/Apr 2001.