The cause for the surgery will have an effect on how you adjust. An ostomy after a long illness can be welcoming, and a relief to have symptoms of the disease process removed. When placed after an emergency surgery, the ostomy can be a real burden, since the body has a new way of eliminating wastes. The amount of adjustment and time may be longer for this person. Many ostomates experience stages of acceptance similar to those of a person experiencing a death or dying situation. First there is a shock at the loss of a body part and having a new waste removal site. Denial of the surgery and ostomy usually takes place. Once they face the reality of the situation, they become depressed. Eventually they realize they cannot change the situation and the ostomy is there and needs to be taken care of. This causes anger towards the staff, doctors, family, friends, and the stoma. With resolution of their anger comes the final stage, which is actual acceptance. This is when you can be the most responsive to teaching and assume responsibility for your ostomy.
The ostomy creates a change in body image. Your perception of yourself and how others see you are affected by this alteration. The loss of control of elimination is also very traumatic to you. The support of family and friends is very important. Their acceptance helps you to accept and take responsibility for care much easier. For this reason, including family and significant others in the teaching process will help them become more comfortable with the stoma and life's natural ability to rid the body of waste products, even when the opening is created by man.
How you adjust sexually will often depend on your psychological acceptance. Acceptance must also be gained by the sexual partner. Communication between you and your partner will relieve the apprehensions felt. When problems arise, they should be dealt with sincerely just as other complications are. An open and trusting relationship between you and the staff will often allow discussion and resolution of any sexual differences or fears you may be experiencing.
