Inside Out (May/June 2003)

Signs of the Times

On a realtor's office window: "Lots for little."
On a shoe store window: "Come in and have a fit."
On a maternity clothes store window: "We are open on Labour Day."
On a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."
On a book store window: "We treat you write."
On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
On an optometrist's window: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In a Chinese pet store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
In the front yard of a mortuary, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
On a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here."
In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."
In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. (Socks can eat any place they want.)"
On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
In a beauty shop, "Dye now!"