Even if changing your ostomy system seems to take forever when you just get home from the hospital, with practice, it will soon become a very small part of your normal schedule. "Waste disposal" for you once again will become a private matter . . . honest!
Learn to care for yourself from the start. It is nice to count on others in an emergency, but you should perform all ostomy care the same as you would if you had your natural parts. You should not rely on always having someone around to assist you. Do not make yourself an invalid. This may sound insensitive, but it is meant to tell you that you are really all right. If you have physical issues, it is an entirely different situation. However, most of us have no physical issues when performing ostomy care by ourselves. Be independent.
Think of a healthy baby boy when he is due for potty training. He is not happy about it. Boys are the worst. But with gentle coxing, and persistent encouragement, he finally goes to the toilet by himself. Ostomy surgery is similar. We have to be potty trained all over again, and just like before, the boys are the worst. Just like when they got their diapers changed, they like their mamas, their wives, to do it for them. Just to let you know, this situation is not that common. Of course, you feel bad because you are sick and needed ostomy surgery. That is all right, for a while. You will smile again. I am sure of it. The sooner you are able to begin a healthy adjustment, the sooner you will come to accept your new life. Most of us want complete independence. We are gifted with a new life, and we are going to do everything better this time around.
Do go to your ostomy association meetings. This may be the only place where you may talk to others plainly, openly, without anybody wincing, about any ostomy issue. Some people have serious health issues that still exist after ostomy surgery, like heart problems, but we are here to offer emotional support to you and others being sensitive to each individual's challenges. You will be surprised at the ease with which you can discuss ostomy issues, once you are here. On the other hand, if you are shy at first, you may just want to listen to the program and enjoy the topic of discussion. There is much good advice shared. Not only that, but whenever we get together with other people with ostomies, we somehow have a good time. I do not know why, but I always feel better after I come to a meeting.
Bring family members with you to the meetings. It is important to have them understand ostomy issues and potential solutions. It is good to expose them to other people with ostomies. They may receive some insight regarding the benefits of living with an ostomy. Let us be honest. If we did not have surgery, we would probably be dead or near death and/or in terrible pain. The people that love us would rather see us alive and without pain. An ostomy is more our issue that anyone else's anyway. Nevertheless, it is good to share it with them. It will make you feel better to have the support and understanding of someone close to you, and it will help them to understand your new life.
A special note to people with a new ileostomy, if you are concerned that your ostomy seems overactive, think back if you can to the coal stove. The more coal you put in, the more heat it gave off. Your ileostomy works in much the same way. The more food you stuff yourself with, the more active your ileostomy will be! Remember, you are your own advocate. It is your life and you need to understand what is going on with it. If you do not understand something, need more clarification or information, or are just confused, do not be afraid to speak up. Be bold and say, "I do not understand."
